Overcoming Self-Doubt: A Step-by-Step Guide to Shutting Down That Inner Critic
Self-doubt. That sneaky little gremlin that whispers, “You’re not good enough” right when you’re about to do something amazing. Whether you’re launching a new business, starting a fitness journey, or simply trying to wear that bold lipstick shade, you’ve probably had moments where self-doubt creeps in like an uninvited guest at a party.
Well, it’s time to kick that voice to the curb. Self-doubt is not the truth, it’s just a bad habit. And like all bad habits, it can be unlearned. Let’s get into the science of why we doubt ourselves, how to break free, and the holistic tools that will have you stepping into your power like the absolute force of nature that you are.
Why Do We Doubt Ourselves? (Hint: Blame Your Brain, Not You!)
First things first, self-doubt isn’t entirely your fault. It’s actually biological. Your brain has a built-in negativity bias, an evolutionary survival mechanism designed to keep you safe. Our ancestors needed to overanalyse threats to avoid getting eaten by saber-toothed tigers. Today, that same mechanism convinces us that sending an email to our boss might just be career-ending.
Science says: Studies show that the amygdala (the brain’s fear centre) is triggered by uncertainty, making us feel anxious and second-guess ourselves. Meanwhile, imposter syndrome (feeling like a fraud despite evidence of success) affects up to 82% of people at some point in their lives, so if you’ve ever felt like a hot mess, congrats, you’re in great company.
Step 1: Name That Inner Critic (Then Roast It!)
That voice in your head telling you you’re not good enough? It’s not YOU. It’s just a learned response, probably picked up from childhood, society, or a particularly soul-crushing high school teacher. The key? Personify it and make it ridiculous.
👑 Example:
- Instead of “I’m such a failure” → Say, “Oh look, Brenda the Drama Queen is back with her nonsense again.”
- Instead of “I don’t think I can do this” → Say, “Greg (aka my self-doubt) is throwing a tantrum again. Someone get him a snack.”
Why this works: Cognitive defusion (a psychological trick) helps detach you from your negative thoughts, making them easier to dismiss.
Step 2: Call Out Your BS (Belief Systems, That Is!)
Most of our self-doubt is built on old, outdated beliefs that no longer serve us. Ask yourself:
Where did this doubt come from?
Is this a fact or just a fear?
What would I say to my best friend if they felt this way?
Science says: Studies in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) show that challenging negative self-talk helps rewire your brain and reduce self-doubt over time.
Step 3: Rewire Your Brain with Affirmations That Actually Work
We love a good affirmation, but let’s be real, saying “I am a millionaire” when you’re staring at an over drafted bank account is just going to make you roll your eyes. Instead, use bridge affirmations that feel more believable:
Instead of “I am confident”, try “I am learning to trust myself.”
Instead of “I am fearless”, try “I am building my courage daily.”
Why this works: Neuroplasticity (your brain’s ability to rewire itself) allows you to replace limiting beliefs with empowering ones, but only if you actually believe them.
Step 4: Get Out of Your Head (Literally, Move Your Body!)
When self-doubt creeps in, your nervous system can go into fight-or-flight mode, leaving you stuck in an anxious spiral. The fastest way to snap out of it? Get physical.
Move your body: Go for a walk, stretch, dance - anything that shakes up the energy.
Try breath work: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 6. This tells your nervous system, “Chill out, we’re safe.”
☀️ Nature therapy: Science says just 20 minutes in nature reduces stress hormones and boosts confidence.
Science says: A study from Harvard found that exercise literally changes brain chemistry, increasing dopamine and serotonin aka, the confidence and happiness neurotransmitters.
Step 5: Celebrate Even the Smallest Wins (Because They Add Up!)
Your brain LOVES rewards. The more you celebrate your small wins, the more your brain links success with confidence instead of fear.
Made a scary phone call? Treat yourself to a fancy coffee.
Finished a project? Do a happy dance in your living room.
Got out of bed when you wanted to hide under the covers? Acknowledge it.
Science says: Dopamine (the “feel-good” chemical) is released when you acknowledge progress, making you more likely to keep going.
Step 6: Surround Yourself with Confident Energy
Confidence is contagious. Spend time with people who lift you up and believe in you. Limit interactions with negative energy vampires who drain your light. And curate your social media feed, follow people who inspire you, not ones who make you question your worth.
Bonus Tip: Create a “Confidence Playlist” with songs that make you feel like the main character. (Yes, Metallica is mandatory.)
Science says: Social psychology studies show that we mirror the emotions of those around us, so being around confident, uplifting people boosts our own confidence.
Just Do the Damn Thing!
At some point, you have to feel the fear and do it anyway. Confidence isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something you build by taking action.
Remember:
- You are not your thoughts you are the one who decides which thoughts to believe.
- Every expert was once a beginner confidence comes from experience, not perfection.
- Doubt is a sign you’re growing if you never feel doubt, you’re probably staying too safe.
So, go do the thing. Send the email, take the risk, start the project, post the video. Your future self is already cheering you on.
And if that little self-doubt voice pops up again? Just tell it:
"F*ck Off Mate. Not today."
Love Court x 🔥💖