Navigating the Storm of Grief: Finding Calm After the Storm
This one is a little personal today. Today marks the anniversary of my mum's passing which happened when I was 14 years old. I can safely say that it doesn't matter how much time goes by, it still hurts as much as it did on the day that it happened. It gets easier to speak about but it is never easy. When this day comes around each year I struggle. The day replays over in my mind, the hard memories come back as if it were yesterday and the loss feels like it happens all over again.
Then come the questions. Would she be proud of me? Would she love the kids? Would she get along with my partner? What would our relationship be like if she were still here...?
I thought I would take the opportunity to speak on the subject of grief as I know there are many people out there struggling with this and if you're anything like me, the last thing I wanted to do was go speak to a stranger about it, so maybe reading a blog might help.
Grief is an uninvited guest that appears in our lives, often unexpectedly, bringing with it a whirlwind of emotions that can leave us feeling lost and overwhelmed. As someone who has experienced this a few times, not only with my mum but my best friend and others too, I understand that grief is a deeply personal journey, and while no two experiences are the same, there are ways to navigate this tumultuous path with compassion and understanding.
Allow Yourself to Feel
Grief is a natural response to loss, and it’s important to allow yourself to experience the full spectrum of emotions that come with it. Sadness, anger, confusion, and even moments of relief are all valid. Suppressing these emotions can prolong the healing process, so give yourself permission to feel them fully. Let them out in any way that is safe, and deeply feel them.
Seek Support
You don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can offer a listening ear and a comforting presence. Sometimes, simply sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone who cares can provide immense relief. If you find it challenging to open up to those around you, consider speaking with a professional therapist who specialises in grief counselling.
Create a Routine
In the midst of grief, it can be easy to lose track of time and neglect daily activities. Sometimes its hard to even get out of bed. After allowing yourself time to feel the loss. establishing a gentle routine can provide a sense of stability and normalcy. Simple acts like getting out of bed at a consistent time, taking a walk, or practicing mindfulness can create a foundation for healing. Don't rush, this takes time.
Honour Your Loved One
Finding ways to honour the memory of your loved one can be a powerful part of the grieving process. This could be through creating a scrapbook, planting a tree, or even setting aside time to reflect on cherished memories. I listen to music that were her favourites. These acts of remembrance can provide comfort and a sense of connection to the one you’ve lost.
Practice Self-Care
Grief can take a toll on your physical and mental health, so it’s crucial to take care of yourself. Ensure you’re eating nutritious meals, getting adequate rest, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Remember, self-care is not selfish; it’s a necessary step in healing. I get it though, its the last thing you want to do. Just remember that the person you loss would never want to see you down in the dumps for a long period of time, they would want you to be doing your best. This thought immensely helped me.
Allow Yourself Time
There’s no timeline for grief. It’s a journey that unfolds at its own pace, and it’s important to be patient with yourself. Some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. Healing is not linear, and it’s important to honour your unique process.
Seek Meaning
As you navigate through grief, you may find yourself searching for meaning or a sense of purpose. This can be an opportunity for personal growth and reflection. Some find solace in spirituality, others in creative outlets or volunteering. Finding a way to channel your grief into something meaningful can be incredibly healing. It can also often lead to a change of path direction. Just go with it.
Embrace New Beginnings
While grief may always be a part of you, it doesn’t define you. As time goes on, you’ll find moments of peace and even joy. Embrace these moments and allow yourself to experience new beginnings. It’s possible to honour the past while moving forward with hope and resilience. Sometimes we feel guilty when we find ourselves smiling again. I will repeat that our passed loved ones would never want us to not live and be happy so never reprimand yourself for feeling feelings of joy and happiness.
Remember, you are not alone, and it’s okay to seek help and lean on those who care for you. You will always carry them with you. You carry them in your heart.
If you’re struggling with grief, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I'm here to support you on your journey towards healing and well-being.
Love Court xo