Finding Light in the Darkness: My Journey Through December
December was not the month I expected. What should have been a time of celebration and reflection turned into one of the hardest chapters of my life—a chapter I never thought I’d have to write.
In the space of a few weeks, my world was turned upside down. We were pregnant and I was so excited and happy. We had planned to share the news with family at Christmas. On our first ultrasound they could not find anything. This was the beginning of weeks of testing, in and out of hospital and doctor appointments and roller coaster emotions from news being positive then negative. Then I experienced an ectopic pregnancy, which led to a ruptured tube and emergency surgery. It’s a situation that no woman ever imagines herself in, and yet, there I was, navigating pain, fear, and heartbreak while trying to make sense of it all. I had told my close friend that was with me to make sure that my children knew how much I loved them. Anyone that hasn't been through something like that doesn't understand the severity of the situation.
As a woman, I believe it’s important to share these stories—not because they’re easy, but because they’re real. This experience reminded me of how fragile and resilient we are at the same time. It’s a reminder that life doesn’t always follow the plans we carefully lay out, but it also gave me a renewed sense of purpose to cherish my health, my body, and the strength within me. Even though I don't understand why this had to happen this way, i'm trying to take what ever positivity I can from it and push forward with hope and pure detirmination.
I won’t dive into every detail of the experience—some parts of this journey I need to keep close to my heart—but I want this blog post to be a space where we, as women, can feel less alone. Whether you've faced your own health battles, unexpected losses, or moments of sheer overwhelm, know that you are not alone.
For me, healing has been about more than just recovering physically; it’s about nurturing my mind and soul too. As we step into this new year, I’m determined to focus on rebuilding—not just my body but my sense of self. I am sad, but I am also super positive and ready to make this year the best year yet.
Here are a few intentions I’m setting for my health and well-being in 2025:
- Prioritising Mental Health: I’m committing to regular journaling, practicing mindfulness, and creating space for self-compassion. I’ve also realised the power of talking openly, whether with loved ones or professionals, about the emotions that come with these experiences.
- Strengthening My Body: Gentle movement, nourishing foods, and rest are no longer negotiable. I’ve learned to listen to my body and give it what it needs without guilt.
- Fostering Gratitude: Even in the hardest moments, there’s always light. I’m choosing to focus on the little joys—the warm sun on my skin, the love of those around me, and the privilege of being able to move forward.
This year, I want to embrace life with softness and strength, knowing that it’s okay to grieve and grow simultaneously.
To every woman reading this: I see you. Whether your path has been smooth or rocky, your strength is immeasurable. Let’s walk into this year with open hearts, honouring both the challenges we’ve faced and the victories ahead. We can do anything we put our mind towards.
With love,
Court xo